My previously acknowledged inability to take a compliment is at the root of all my male partners saying ‘You make me feel like a better person’.
It makes blindingly obvious sense now that I’ve connected the two things.
They meet me, think I’m great (as you do), give me compliments that I deny and minimize and eventually whack away so they disappear.
And then what’s left?
My enthusiasm and compliments to them.
It’s all either of us hear by that stage in one of my relationships.
And I pretty
Much cease to exist: erased from existence (other than servitude) by my disbelief that I should be pleased with myself once in a while.
I am such a dick.
At least I know I’m sick of hearing men tell me how I make them feel like better people.
At least that’s like a buzzing, flashing WARNING SIGN to me now.
I was so utterly disappointed when Halfman finally said that to me after we’d been together for six months and I had begun to think it wasn’t coming … But no.
And of all of those penis-wielding paramours if mine he was the one for whom the contrast must have been greatest. From utter scumbag to admired lover simply through my presence.
Argh! The gifts I unknowingly bestowed. Such a waste.
1000 days 