I can totally own being frightened, I don’t like being there but my ego can handle it. You’re only truly brave when you’re frightened; when your pounding heart and dry throat don’t stop you from standing up for what you know is right.
Somehow this type of conundrum doesn’t apply to being ‘fragile’.
People observe us being brave when we’re feeling at the height of anything but.
But they call us ‘fragile’ when they can see us falling apart, not when they see us ‘being strong’.
I have always looked ‘delicate’ – light colored, straight as a die hair, sharp, thin features, a soft voice. But I’ve never been delicate. I’ve always prided myself on being tough on the inside – resilient.
So to be labelled ‘fragile’, to be ‘diagnosed’ as ‘psychologically delicate’ makes me dislike myself.
Because though I might feel beaten down, knocked about and kicked in the guts at times but by the ‘Still Here’ measure I continue to kick ass.
Could you please start defining that, defining me and my refusal to lie down, as strong?
1000 days 