Fark. I still have such a total inability to cope with seeing Halfman’s spouse walking about being real.
To think that she must see me as such a hideous person or perhaps such a stupid, hoodwinked person who helped break her heart. And even if she doesn’t see me that way, she should.
And if I let myself imagine how Halfman has grovelled and blamed me and half or a quarter or an eighth revealed the truth of his deceptions to her. I can just hear him conveniently allowing silence to answer the questions from her that he is too scared to answer honestly.
And she, like me most probably, would fill those silences with wishful thinking and love for him and nostalgia for once was.
It is so much easier to blame an outsider than take on the full feelings that would come with total betrayal.
I guess if that gets her through I would wish it for her.
But him … I find it hard to imagine him not being totally revealed to her for the sociopath he seems to be.
1000 days 